Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Amen.

When I care for the inside – spiritually, physically, consumptionally, mentally and emotionally, I experience a Jesus-filled trickle-down effect.

So what’s the problem? My body does not process sugar at all. Everything begins to suffer when I allow it to come back into my life. I confess, I started eating it again and it made me ugly from the inside out. So ugly that I want to cry. Sugar is one of my destructive sins and I hate it. It seems so silly to say sugar is a sin, yet, it destroys me and it is the thing I crave the most. It is such a powerful struggle and a powerful addiction.

I must allow Jesus to take control of my life. This sin that I wallow in is so consuming. It bleeds into everything and destroys my days. I try to fill the hole of sin with the world and it just get worse like a rapidly spreading cancer. I hate it.

The second I succumb to temptations – eating sugary food – that I know my body can’t process, sin takes control. I become irritable. My body starts to shut down. I become lazy. I can’t sleep at night. I become dependent. My joints become inflamed. I start wearing clothes that reflect how I feel inside. I don’t look in the mirror. I don’t face my circumstances. My face breaks out in ulcers. I start gaining weight. I can’t walk. I begin more bad habits. But there is light.

When I get to my lowest, darkest and weakest, I am reminded of the Prodigal Son. I am reminded that My Father in Heaven is waiting for me to return to Him. I am reminded that He is willing to help me and to save me. He is willing to fill me up with His Power and replace my feeble attempts. He rejoices when I return. He rewards me with hope, faith, strength and joy. Those don’t belong to me! They are GIFTS! WOW.

But where is my line in the sand? Where is the breaking point for this cycle of abuse, this self-inflicted power-struggle. It is today. It is something that I can give to Jesus and allow His all-encompassing power to take over, to save and forgive.

Dear Lord, I surrender Jesus. I surrender and repent for turning away. For allowing sin to enter back in to my life. I see the scars of my past flare up when I do – and I start to hate, and sin enters in. Please take it away with your redeeming power. You empathize with me because of the miracle of the cross. I don’t understand it, but You do, and that is so comforting. I am a child, you are my Father and You loved me first. Praise Your name. Please forgive me for my sin and take control of my life. Please allow me a new day and new habits, new surrender that is much more powerful than the past. Help me NOT fall into this pattern again.

Help me make this permanent. Please allow me to make a covenant with you today. That I will not let this kind of sin enter into my life ever again. That from today on I will have the ability to say NO! Let that power come from you as a wonderful reminder that You were able to say NO.

You are indwelling and so I know all things are possible for those who love you and for those who are called according to Your purpose. I can do all things through You, Jesus, who gives me strength. There is freedom in the NO. There is healing in the NO and I look forward to this new Life that you will grant me, if it be Your Will. You are such a wonderful God, full surrender is so rewarding. and the only reward my soul desires is to be less of me and more of you each day. I love you so much Jesus. Thank you for loving me first. I’ll always be so thankful for my salvation. You are wonderful, awesome, and good. In Jesus’ name, amen.

2 Corinthians 3:17

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.