I keep thinking in my head, “the flesh wants to die”. It’s not so morbid as you might think. I remember how Dustin taught me that rust always wants to return to its natural state. Metal must be maintained. Decay is all around us, it’s the penalty for our sin. All of creation cries out in pain and desires Jesus’ return to be free from the weight of sin.

If I allow myself to succumb to my flesh, and what it desires, my life will not be full and healthy. It will be full of pain and full of the weight of sin. There is so much joy in surrender, there is so much that encourages us to press on when we choose to put Jesus first.

When I made bad decisions about what I was consuming, that bad fuel produced bad results. When I decided to put good fuel in, good results were produced. This journey is only 3.5 pounds off the goal, and once I reach it I plan to maintain and be consistent, because that is the prize, a new life, a new surrender, a path that leads to righteousness, not getting sucked back into temptation. I desire to continue to be sanctified again, to grow closer to Jesus, and to be immersed in Jesus and what HE desires, not what my flesh desires.

I had to choose Jesus, and that choice has produced so much fruit in my life. It is showing me that full surrender is a very wise decision. When I fail, He doesn’t. When I choose to treat me badly, He doesn’t. He helps me turn away from choices that hurt me and bring me back to the fog and the pain.

Thank you Jesus for delivering me from the weight of my sin. Thank you for teaching me about my attitude of gratitude. Please continue to turn my thoughts to you. Please help me remember that I am a failure without you Jesus. This life with you is so much better! When I choose to do things my own way, I am creating a road block from the life that YOU desire for me. I don’t want that life. I want YOU. Thank you for reminding me that my flesh is evil and wants the worst for me. Thank you for delivering my soul from the bondage of sin, now please give me the strength I need to deliver my body from the pain I am in. I pray you would give me the courage and the wisdom to deny my flesh of it’s evil desires. I want to be looking up, and looking to you. Please keep me on solid ground, firmly rooted in you. You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from falling. Psalm 116:8 I am so thankful for you Jesus, for all you do, for all that you are, and for never giving up on me. I love you so much. You are worthy of all glory, honor and praise, forever and ever. In Jesus name, amen.