I couldn’t hear You

I didn’t know it was You

I had it all wrong

what it was, was all true

I thought I had failed,

I had it all wrong,

I thought it was anger,

forgot that I belong

to the God who is Present

Who never forsakes

and that whisper was hope

a place I could take

the choices I was making

and give them to You

it’s not my job to fix it

cause You had the glue

I was putting my life

in all the wrong places

I was making decisions

and horrible choices

I was trying to do it

without Biblical truth

I was using the tricks

developed in youth

failure surrounded

it was all over my face

all over my arms

I was leaving a trace

of a girl who just thought

the old rules sill applied

over and over

I tried and I tried

to use the old rules

of a girl who was lost

I had forgotten

that those rules were stupid and tossed

a language that stumbled

me all over the place

ruined my soul

messed up my space.

New Freedom was sparkling

I read it each day

yet, still not applied,

still just a say

not a do

not a give

not a pray

not to live

just words on a page

that were up in my head

but never a mission

or solution

ahead.

oh, silly me.

that’s why, the best thing,

is to remain in The Word,

cause one day, in wisdom,

one day, His Whisper was heard

the pain was a speak

a tap on my shoulder

I’m right here, silly girl

I’ll carry that boulder

that thing that is weighing

you down in the dumps

that is creating the pain

and the lumps and the bumps

I’ll take it away

just hand it to me.

I’ll take it away

choose me, please, choose me

tag Me in

I know the rules of this game

I know how to fight it

I know of your pain

it was sent here by me!

I’m the coach of all coaches

I sent you that message, you see

so you’d surrender your choices

to me, only me.

when you get up, surrender

when you wake up, please pray

when you go to do something

that is unwise, I’ll say

I’m right here, it’s me, Jesus

Your flesh wants to die

Your body is failing

it’s making you cry

Your body is wrecking

itself with this food

with the lazy approach

and your nasty, dull mood

the fuel you put in

is what is coming out

and I want you to be better

I stop and I pray

I hear you dear Father,

I hear you today

Now I surrender, in full submission

not for me, but no doubt,

for You, ’cause this mission

is great, and it’s wide

and the pain in my body

is making me hide

I don’t like the shame

I’m wearing each day

I want flesh to die,

not my body, I pray

I want to surrender

my flesh, and it’s sin

I want to be filled

with You, and begin

a New Life that’s better

with You at the helm

steering me clear

of storms, and the quelm.

Your wisdom is greater

Your love now surrounds

and when I feel cravings

I want YOU to abound

to seek You with love

and let mercy and grace

be what is visible

on my unworthy face

Simply let me be worthy of service

to You, please, I pray

it is all that I live for

to love You each day

please work inside me, Lord,

and let Your mission for me be great

be all that sustains me

not what’s on my plate.