about me, Christian Mom, faith, parenting, rhyme

My Scars

You left me.

I still ask, “why.”

All I know

was you said goodbye.

You left me when

I was so small.

I was taught

I didn’t matter at all

Me, little girl,

trying to find

Left to fend

you didn’t mind.

You left because

he was bad.

Yet, little me,

I still had

to live with him

and still you’re gone.

How did I

deserve that wrong?

backpack bag branches forest
Photo by Nikita Khandelwal on Pexels.com

How am I

expected to feel

about you now

my thoughts, they reel.

I resent you

I am mad

How could you leave me

with my dad?

He abused

that’s why you went

The things he did

I need to vent!

 

When I look

at my little girl

her fuzzy head

My lips, so curl

into a rage

only I can know

Why did you

have to go?

Why didn’t you

defend? protect?

They way I do

with no neglect.

My heart burns for her

my precious one.

I scream inside

HOW WAS THAT DONE!

 

Why did you leave?

How could you do

that horrible thing!

I was her too.

 

 

I was little

I was three.

I was lost

that was me.

 

 

I watched you go

onto that plane

I was left

with your adult pain.

I was little.

You were gone.

I still struggle

with all that wrong.

 

Dear Lord, that hurts.

 

 

Little ones

to Him belong.

Thank you, God,

for my heart song.

Thank you for healing

for Love that’s true.

For constant healing

earth can’t undo.

Thank you for knowing

that I still remain

a little girl

lost in pain.

 

Thank you for allowing

a second chance

loving my daughter

taking MY stance.

Teaching her that

I’LL NEVER LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER.

That she is important

my ultimate reprieve.

 

Maybe what happened

was to teach me to stay

to give her the chance

that was taken away

from my little heart

when I was so young.

Maybe the lesson

was that I was the one

to change the course

of a desperate past.

To cancel the hurt

and make it not last.

To raise up a Champion,

solid and true!

Someone who knows

Mom. won’t. leave. you.

 

Things happen in life

some good and some not

we all have choices

this is our lot.

 

some scars are lessons

we don’t understand

until the story

unfolds in God’s hands.

 

The Master reminds us

our strength is measured

with Love’s Great Arms

we are so treasured.

 

So look for the lessons

within all your scars

and keep your perspective

focused on God, not the mars

of this life here on earth

eternal happy awaits

He is waiting, ready

right at those pearly gates.

 

I am not sure

what scars you carry

I am not sure

all the pains you bury

I am so sure

that what I said today

was a scar that I carried

and, so, now I pray

that as we work through

the scars that we share

that love still abounds

through the pain that we bare.

 

Read through your past

see what you learn

see if you can take

pain, sin and the burn

and change them to lessons

things that can grow

and make you so stronger

make you now know

that things might have happened

that really caused pain

but now you can change

and make them remain

in a place that is healthy

and teaches you not

to repeat all those things

and get through your lot

with strength from our Lord,

forgiveness now sets

in a place that is healthy

yet doesn’t forget.

 

Forgiveness just lets

us heal and move past

and takes away edges

that caused scars to last

I pray that God is with you

wherever you are

and heals all those painful,

yet beautiful scars.


 

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3 thoughts on “My Scars”

  1. Beautiful poem, you’ve been through so much, my mom and family left me when I was a baby, it affects the ability to trust and love. Your child has you so at least she’ll have the love and protection you deserved. I wish you joy and peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God’s plan is His own and it’s so hard to see through pain. Writing is so healing for me. When I saw my words and read them, I was able to achieve the next level of forgiveness and healing. Thank you for reading. I’m sorry you have a similar story and I pray that you are able to find strength too. Big hugs and keep on keepin on! 🌹💕☺️🙏🏻

      Like

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