what happened then
can’t stop talking
about the past
robs your now
those you trap
yip and yap
when you call
you will haul
them down into
that moat of sad
the past it haunts
and makes you mad
So you bring
so more belong
your web of pain
but they escape
fear your drain.
Where the crowd
used to stand
bit by bit
into your pit
No one’s there
Watch your mouth
keep others safe
of the words
your adrenaline speaks
can break you down
make you weak
Cling to things
that you control
prayer, it makes
you feel your soul
and you can heal
the words you say
and you can stop
the memory’s way
of feeding you
your sick addiction
and all it’s minions
Keep the past
in God’s sweet hands
prayer can make
Keep the Devil
away from you
Stand back dude
God’s great shoe
will kick Him far
and you will be
a stronger she
Say sweet words
aware of you
Save your friends
with all you do
things that matter
don’t knock em’ down
with sinful chatter
When I was growing up I remember my mom dreading phone calls from her sisters. They were so absorbed with their past and pain and they would trap her on the phone for hours and just drain her of all joy. She would walk around with the weight of the world on her shoulders for hours after the phone call. We would all dread the calls from them. Their relationship was always strained. It was really sad to see.
Well, ya know what they say about monkey see, monkey do?
I was talking to my sister the other day and I found myself doing the exact same thing. Except I was the horrible negative sister drudging up all the pain of our past. I was talking about stuff that had nothing to do with anything in the present. Just stupid entitled pain stuff that I adrenaline rushed out of my mouth and inflicted on her. ENTITLED TO MY PAIN, ENTITLED TO MY PAIN, BLAH BLAH BLAH….
Wow. 45 minutes passed and God said ENOUGH! What are you doing?!?!? He slapped me side of my head and said, “wake up, you fool”.
I saw myself and it made me sick. I was toxic. I was draining the life out of my sister, making her live in the past with me and tearing other people down with me.
again, I saw what I was doing. I made myself sick.
Don’t you think that when you talk about other people in a negative way, that somehow they can feel it? Our spirits are so connected. I truly believe it, and I really want to be aware of the power of my feelings and my words. Both KIND and NEGATIVE.
What I discovered was super important. Any recovery program states that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. I realized what I was doing, who I was emulating and almost vomited. I told my sister I was sorry and that I would never do it again. She laughed at me and lightened the mood. However, I didn’t take it so lightly. I need to overcome, be better, be a light for my Savior and draw people closer to HIM, not down a dark path of destruction!
Adrenaline is such a powerfully destructive drug. So addictive. We are so entitled when we are under its grasp. Be aware of adrenaline, be prepared for it, identify it and soothe it with prayer. God is there and wants us to cling to HIM.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
So, in conclusion, I have made the first step. I think it’s a powerful step towards forgiveness too. A path I am still immensely confused about. If any of you have information on forgiveness, I’d love to hear from you.
Until the next, God bless you. Thanks for following along the Simply My Swank journey of Christian Rhymes and sharing the love of God. Please share, let’s let God’s light shine and healing and happiness replace the power of fear and shame.
God is good, all the time.
Katie, I love this poem! I can SO relate to this. I struggle with forgiveness and bitterness towards others who have wronged me. I just posted what I’m learning on bitterness and I’ll send you a link. I still struggle to forgive and move forward but by God’s grace we will have the victory in Jesus.
This is by Ryan on forgiveness.
And here’s my post.
Love ya! Big hugs! 💖🤗
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I am so thankful to hear from you Vivian. I struggle with understanding what forgiveness even means. I just don’t get the concept. If someone next level sins and you were the target what does it mean to forgive. I don’t understand Vivian. But I wonder if I have a wall of sin around the concept that I need to start praying about. Like I don’t want to forgive cause I’m still so dan angry about it.
I’ll pray for you and you pray for me too, okay friend? Big hugs sister Christian.
Stay strong. I hope you’re feeling better. 💕
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It’s dreadful when other Christians sin against us and the deeper the hurt runs, the harder it is to forgive. I used to think forgiveness is a one time thing but have learned that it’s a process, a slow healing over time. I have currently been struggling with bitterness over Christians who have mistreated me……why? How can ppl be so mean? I expect it from unbelievers or snarky in-laws but other Christians? It’s too much. It feels too hard to bear Katie!😢😢 I’m looking at the book Beauty Marks by Linda Barrack, chapter 3 on forgiveness. Do you know of it? If you’re on facebook messenger I can take pictures of the text and send them to you. It’s really helping me to delve into this topic because I’m struggling so much too and depression has set in. I’m praying for you Katie and so sorry for the hurt you are enduring….it’s hard. 🙏😢
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Yes, I agree. It reminds us that we are all simple humans. Guided by sin and saved by grace. Yet even Christians suffer from that stupid disease of the Devil. It’s the least expected that hurt us the most. The art of surprise.
Thinking of forgiveness as a process helps too. I’ll check out that book online. If you like it, I’m sure is great and worth the purchase. Thanks for your advice Vivian.
Let’s encourage each other to rest in God’s comfort and pray for joy to win over anger n fear.
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About Forgiveness. I have heard it said and I believe it is true that the people you may be angry at often don’t have a clue that you are angry at them. And then some are so stuck in themselves that they do things to hurt others, or they do things to bully others because they have likely been bullied. It is a learned behavior, and even preschoolers do it. I have seen it and been on the receiving end of it through my life endlessly and I am now 77. But I want you to remember that those who do these things do not suffer; we are the ones who suffer. Of course we are angry about it. I was a child and was molested by one of my parents. The other one sold us down the river. For the longest time I hated them both and was justifiably angry. But one day I was challenged to do a forgiveness letter. Both of them had already passed on, so I did it, and it was a challenge with a cash prize for the best one. Well, I admit what encouraged me to write it was that prize. But in the end result, I wrote that letter and I felt as though a boulder had been lifted from my chest. I was the one who suffered, who tried many times to end it all. Not them. Never them.
So you can hold onto your anger for the remainder of your life, but who is it hurting? When you forgive others, in reality, you are forgiving your own self – perhaps for trusting someone who did not deserve your trust, and perhaps for some other legitimate reason. But the thing is that the one who keeps hurting is you.
I hope that you can find a way to write a forgiveness letter, even if you never send it to the other person. Perhaps you, as I did, will have that boulder lifted from your chest.
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Well written, I hope you won that writing challenge. 🙏🏻👏🏼❤️🌹💰
Forgiveness comes in so many forms. I found most important one for me was giving it to God.
My letter of forgiveness is written all throughout this blog. My tangible journey of forgiving others, forgiving myself and allowing myself to be forgiven.
Thanks for your beautiful addition to this post. I’m glad your weight is lifted. Praise God. Are you saved Anne? I don’t mean to cut to the chase, but I did.
God is so good. Amen.
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This article touched me. It is so full of the attitude we are going to need to change the world as it goes through darkness. I needed to hear it. My adrenaline often gets overused in the wrong direction! Forgiveness to me means turning completely around and replacing what was wrong with what is right. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly!
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Thank you for sharing Gail. I appreciate your thoughts on forgiveness and I agree. We just need to do it differently. God is good all the time!☺️🌹💕
One of the things I believe, and I have posted about it before on my blog, is that we are ALL here because we are meant to be here. This earth is sacred, and all of the people in it are sacred. That means every race, every culture, every type of God, and every type of political, religious and spiritual belief. And so I have a very open mind, perhaps because all those forms of beliefs in God are different ways of speaking to the One. We have so many beliefs, and I think they are meant for the good overall. I don’t ever think I can say that one God is the only God because it doesn’t add up to the reality of the world. That is not to say that the belief in God as we know him (or her) is wrong, but I think that whether Christians, Buddhists, or any other religion, we cannot say that is the only God, but we can choose the God we want to believe because all Gods are part of The One. We say that God made us in his image, and we are all very different in so many ways, so the God who is capable of creating so many different kinds of people and creatures and plants and other life on this earth is definitely capable of creating many forms of God so that people throughout the world can all have a way they can understand to believe.
Living in grace, treating all others with kindness and understanding, and working overall for the good of the people throughout the world I think is a most important characteristic of people in this world. Being true to whatever faith we believe, and allowing others to be true to their faiths is a crucial aspect of this world. It may not be the way others choose, but we are all made to have our own choices. So do I believe in God? Absolutely. But I may see the God I believe in a different light. I see God out in nature, and I talk to God in a different way. But it is still God, the way I know God. God is all knowing and all powerful, and he is described in many different ways. Yes, I have read the Bible, and yes, I have gone to many different churches of many types.
I am not saying what I am to anger anyone or to argue with you. I choose to believe in God in a way that is meaningful and makes sense for me in my life. And I am not saying that God does not exist; he exists in the ways we learn to make him real for each and all of us. This earth, this universe, and everyone in it, every creature, and every plant, as well as every grain of sand, is sacred, and will always be. I respect the beliefs of everyone else, even if you disagree with mine. That is ok. Thank you most kindly.
Hi Anne! Sorry I didn’t reply, maybe I didn’t see this post, or maybe I didn’t write back because I needed time. I believe what you are is a fence sitter. You haven’t yet committed to anything so you just sit in pain, thinking you are making everyone and yourself happy, yet it is just uncomfortable to be there. The top of that fence isn’t a place to live, it’s only built to protect either side. I have a fence. It’s God, He protects me against doubt, insecurity, fear, unknown, loneliness and keeps me in a place of comfort, love, understanding, faith, trust and joy.
There are many people that think that they can outsmart faith, that there must be a better solution. Even atheists have faith that there isn’t a God, right?! That’s super powerful. My truth and my faith are so solid, the Bible is true, His Word is righteous and I am going to Heaven when I die. Those are absolutions. I am committed.
Yes, we are created for purpose, you’re so right, and that purpose is to commit. There is only one soul, one heart, one mind and one God. He is the Creator of everything. If you are not meant to believe, you won’t and I am not here to convince you, just to share the truth and let you decide on your own. I’ll pray that you fall off your fence gently and commit to something special. The truth is out there, He loves you very much and is waiting with open arms. I pray that you see Him in a super powerful way and that I see you in Heaven someday. God is so good!