Muddy Waters

Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken (Psalm 55:22)

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Muddy waters

do not see

the beauty

that’s in front of me.

Clouded eyes

shielded, guard

I struggle so.

Life is hard.

The storm has left

destruction here

walking around

full of fear.

Will it happen

yet again?

Another storm

flurry wind!

Taking away

all I know,

leaving me breathless

painful blow.

I run away

from my whole life

It’s way too hard

full of strife.

I don’t need them

don’t you see

it’s way to hard

leave me be.

I go away

silence please

walk to the water

fall on my knees

“help me God!”

I scream at Him

the crashing waves

and outlook grim

deafening power

muddy waves

pounding hard

Jesus saves?

I start to doubt

I’m mad at Him

This isn’t what

I thought, with whim

That life would be

a Christian? yes.

but this is hard

where is the bliss?

I thought it’d be easy

once I turned

my life over

now I’m burned

and I am angry

at that guy

that told me all

those horrid lies

This life is harder

than before

this isn’t easy

I wanted more!!!!!

 

I wanted peace

expected reward.

I pictured ease

eyes turned toward

the bottom, here

I don’t understand

so full of fear

why reprimand?

take away

everything

what did I do?

pity, sing.

I angry pray

Take. ME. NOW!

I don’t want this

I don’t care how!

 

don’t you see,

I’ve nothing left

this life is full

of happy theft.

 

It starts to rain

I’m soaking wet.

The tide came in

while I just sat.

Wallowing in

a temporary pain.

Eyes so cloudy

disgraceful, vain.

 

Now the waves

are all around.

I’m full of fear

a smashing sound.

The power they yield

come crashing down.

Waves pull me in

underneath.

Ocean’s blanket

a heavy sheath.

 

I know the end

is minutes away

didn’t He hear

me ask and pray?

 

“help” I said

now why more?

I was angry

on that shore

I try again

“help me please!”

I need more time

on my knees.

 

Try again,

commit to you

a brand new me

committed through.

 

I won’t wallow

in my storm

I will be strong

fortified form

when you guide me

I’ll follow along

I won’t run

I’ll stay, belong

to the path less travelled

faithful me

not so unravelled

eyes blurry.

 

See? I’ll look

past the storm

Suddenly I realize

I am warm…

 

The waves released

me from their grasp

on the shore

I cough and gasp.

 

I look around

the sun is out

the storm has passed

and with it doubt.

 

…and with it doubt.

 

I can’t believe

that I was spared

a second chance

fully prepared.

fully committed.

He. was. there.

I say with

a thankful prayer

 

God you are

a loving guide

taking me past

the fateful tide

providing a glimpse

of the other side

when I feel like

the incessant tide

was banked against me

It’s not true.

 

I don’t see the end

that’s only You!

 

So I will trust

and always obey

not run and hide

I’ll always stay

within your arms

when life gets tough

and look to you

when the seas get rough

not be angry

you’ll see me through.

 

That’s what I need

and so do You

You need my love

and I need Yours

eternal splendor

is my reward.

 

I promise to remember

and not forget

this lesson learned

don’t wallow and sit

pain is temporary

earth is flawed

so I’ll stay focused

on my God

trust in Him

especially when

the muddy waters

start filling in

I’ll focus upward

and seek His might

and stay within

God’s steady light.

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